- my moments with music` ]] ~~

Friday, November 12, 2004

Latest Announcment(wrong spelling)
It's missing friends 2day, rite now after I scanned though my pics that I had not been touched for a long period of time, wan to find back my past, it is barely half a year that I had graduated and I've lose in touch with myself. I need some real therapy for my "midst-welcome-to-the-real-working-world" symptom.

LOOK Below are some of the pics digged out ..Fond memories.

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Haven't been blogging much , simply because I feel intimidated when I face this empty white box. Words can't find their way out of my system. I am a broken machine.

And I am still suffering from green teA....caffine (green tea got caffine) overdose. The past few days have been hectic. Think of a few jobs handling at the same time.... I just can't take it .
I have never been consuming so much tea before. My brain function seems rather delayed.
maybe it's is becasue of the things I've manage to think and sort out.

Been a Workaholic is a double-edged sword. It can make u forget something that u wish to forget by making u occupy with things to do. And when u go home, all u wish to have at least a blissful 8 hours of sleep hopefully. Soon, all the bad things will fade without your concious-knowing. Forget and forgive make effortless---- because u can't be bothered.
Other edge of the sword is that... Not enough slEEP...yawn....lose touch with friends.....and yr brain got very stressed and confused where u think your brain started to degrade.ETC

Sori friends...Another emotional ride again. I am going to write some sad but inspiring stuff again.

I am in a inspirational mood now . (AGaiN?!)

The topic start with a thought of phase in my head , that is "It's so hard to want everything, but nothing at the same time."

I am embarking on the longest emotional vacation ever, I swear. I don't know when I will ever be able to be who I was, anymore.

If something comes back to my life where I thought there will never be a day like this, not in my wildest dream. Is it God's playing on me? Isn't it very funny? In life, something have expiry date. As a child, when something u wan it so badly and people just don't give it to u or u can't get it. U cry, u depress but somehow u get over it. Learn something from it. U will programme from it. One day, the thing that u had once desired long time ago comes back to u. Well, how to u FEEL? Well, of coz, it is nothing to u anymore....too late. U hope u can accept it but something tells u that ...... u have no desired feeling to that particular toy anymore, because u had moved on to the next best thing and this toy is just part of your bruise. Maybe there is ego. "Yo...Why I like to play barbie doll last time huh?" That particular wave of Nauseaness in regrets and uneasily comes back and haunt u again. Let me get some antidote ...hmm...If I relate this to my Immunology Lecture in my poly days ; The Memory B cells (REFER TO PICTURE ATTACH ABOVE) are formed specific to the antigen(s) ---An example of antigen is viruses etc.... encountered during the primary immune response and able to live for a long time, these cells can respond quickly upon second exposure to the antigen for which they are specific. Memory B-cell tells u " Hey it is that $%5676*^^!! virus again, anti-viral interferon secreted out and attack that subject. Tell me , how to u control it? (Hope I have not forgotten hohoho..) ----

Author Note:
B cells are lymphocytes. A lymphocyte is a type of white blood cell involved in the human body's immune system. There are two broad categories of lymphocytes, namely T cells and B cells. Lymphocytes play an important and integral part of the body's defenses. (specially
thanks to The FreeDictionary.com for recalling my Immunology lecture (oh-my god, dreadful good old days where I got to study the cycle of whatever cells do whatever things) by Anand K

Let's get to the main question.
Once lost, can the good old original feelings be bought back?

Unexpectancy become my most funniest word inset to my life's dictionary. It is playing around my life and if u hide in my toilet dressed up like a bloody evil ghost and attempt to give me a fright while I enter the dark toilet ------- I will react it with calmly, expressionless face. If I do react with a shock.....that will be a very delayed reaction and just wanting to give U FACE only ....

SOMETIMES you feel that everything is within your control, and that anything can happen and you will not be affected. Dealing won't be a problem- you are the puppeteer, and life's the joke you control.

Sometimes you feel that you can grasp hold of the last strands of the dream that you wished, were reality.

Life is a paradox itself.

It can be so simple, yet so complicated. The ironies are countless, and endless. People come and go and moving on, is the only way. Nothing is permanent, but change is. Change is the hardest thing to accept.

The past is nothing but an empty shell, the crust of an uneaten pie. It's the filling of the pie that matters, and that's going forward, NOT BACK.

Another thing is that, Taking things as they come, is what I am doing now. Somebody told me, that I can deal with walking out people's lives well, and that if they don't need me, I can learn to live without them. I surprise myself sometimes, with things like these. I just hope that I am as strong as I appear to be , because all I feel like , is a crushed porcelain figurine.(spell wrongly?)

Yes....
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine

Like a crushed porcelain figurine
Like a crushed porcelain figurine

Like a crushed porcelain figurine

Anonymous scribbled this at 6:34 AM...